How well do I know myself

As spring approaches and I finalize planning for the spring and summer I cannot help but think of the changes in the world. The morning I came home from work the weather was 35 degrees and the moon lite high in the sky. Casting the reflections off of the clouds that held presence in broken formations, I had thought to myself how trouble in the world on such nights is there so much as these. Looking into the clear and partly cloudy skies watching the stars shine and looking back. I remember the days of what I will refer to as myself exile. I had prolonged that situation into a six to seven month absents in society (only returning to work). I went and did for two reasons that year, I was in the edge of having my kidneys shut down. I had left because the cycle needed to be broken the mundane life of struggling through out the years just to become sick and repeat the process after spending months in the hospital.

At that point I had made a decision that I could no longer remain here for the stale death would come and take me. I went out into the highlands that April to do one of two things, break the bad habits of eating at a gas station or trying to make ends meet – or – Die in a Far off and distance place that I possible would never be found, But I would die on my own terms. In a place of tranquil beauty and not some city graveyard where my wishes would no be met. I had put myself In that situation of do or die and I was smiled upon in the end, Often young men would go and camp in the wilderness in ancient times the mannerbund. They did this to harden themselves so they could one day rejoin the tribe or a war band they did it for glory and honor. But alas in todays society it seems to be looked down upon but personally I think its envy.

A Camp Heiliger Mann Bar often used in the highlands way off the main road. I slept under the stars countless nights here.

When things were said and done, I was blessed with my soon to be wife, another heathen something that I longed for, for so long. We are on the verge of purchasing a property of our own and the success of the first year of The Wisconsin Rural Folk Society. This is all for today its short but ill be working on more writings in the coming weeks.

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